i won't finish this game: An Introspective Interactive Experience
- Alexander Vassilopoulos
- May 4, 2024
- 3 min read
The game development industry is one that has absolutely exploded in recent years, and alongside it a culture of burnout and overworking has also developed. Making a video game takes an extremely large amount of time and work, and for solo or small-team indie developers, this can take a massive toll on their mental health.
i won't finish this game is a unique virtual experience developed by Naarel that explores suicidal thoughts and the extreme pressure that is present in the game industry. It is presented in the form of a visual novel, which is a type of video game that is presented similarly to a choose-your-own adventure book, with players reading text as it pops up on their screen and choosing certain choices that grant them different paths. An interesting aspect of i won't finish this game is a distinct lack of choice at all, as the player is only able to click to continue the flow of text.
"It's more of a story or an art piece than a game; if you expect actual gameplay, it probably isn't really a thing for you, says Naarel. "If you can look past that, it's a deep dive into the mind of a suicidal person, an exploration of what it means to be on an edge of taking such drastic, irreversible decision."
The narrative explores the suicidal mindset of the creator, while also criticizing the way suicide is handled in a narrative context within the realm of video games.
"I feel like in many games, especially when it comes to horror genre, suicide is used as an attempt at getting an emotional reaction out of the player. Yet, the focus is primarily put on the physical nature of the act: we see a dead body or the suicide itself being commited on screen. It's a visual spectacle first and foremost, focusing on what the player sees and the player's and/or playable character's reaction to it," says Naarel. "Treating suicide as if it's an act that you do once instead of the last point you arrive to after months or years of struggle is unfortunately what I see the most in games and similar media, and this is extremely poor handling of the matter for me."
The game instead tackles this heavy topic head-on, and without any visual spectacle whatsoever. There are no images present, and the narrator goes into detail about their innermost worries about who may be left behind, what they wished they had achieved, and their regrets. The commodified performance is replaced by raw emotion, a powerful method of showing the importance of mental health in a way that is much more than just a plot point.
"I myself have witnessed the power that games have when it comes to spreading awareness. I had people come to me to tell me that they'll be more careful with how they handle suicide in their own games after they read "i won't finish this game" and got some proposals when it comes to sensitivity reading so that they can portray the matter as accurately as possible, says Naarel."Games are quite interactive; even in projects like '"i won't finish this game"' you still have to give your input to proceed. There's an action you need to take, and I feel like this helps a lot with internalizing messages. You cause things to happen in games. You can cause things to happen in real life. Engaging in reading or in gameplay, immersing yourself in the plight of others, getting to know their mindset in this way, I think it can really leave a lasting impact on one's mindset and really lead to change.
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